Death, Devotion, Dissonance

Chapter 17 - Doctors And Delusions



\'What\'s going on here?\' Evin thought as he stared at the three papers with fear and confusion.

Was he really someone who warranted such strict observations? Who found him so interesting that they\'d leave not one, but three, of these things inside his room? What the hell did they want from him? Was it the voice they wanted? They why don\'t they just take it? Evin didn\'t want the thing in his head.

A weird buzzing sound appeared in his ears alongside the muffled shouts that came from inside his head.

However, Evin didn\'t care about these things. Instead, he found himself looking around the room, searching for something… or rather, someone. He didn\'t know why he was doing this, considering who the man was… but nevertheless, Evin found himself wanting to see this person. Even if the slightest thought of his father instilled primal fear and worry in his heart, it felt  right for Evin to be near him. But for better or worse, there was no one else in the room beside himself.

"Oh… I\'m all alone now…" An empty whisper escaped his mouth.

<Snap out of it!> the voice\'s muffled shouts finally became clear.

<I\'m here for you! This whole thing\'s bit messed up, but there\'s no need to panic now! Just do as I say! Now!>

Strangely, the order calmed Evin a bit, as he felt that his mind had gotten a tiny bit sharper than a moment ago. His eyes fell on the three papers again, and he was reminded of the problem he was currently facing.

<Finally calmed down?> the voice sighed and after thinking for a bit, it told Evin what to do, <Put the last two back where they were. Then, you can bring the one you found on the wardrobe to a servant outside. Tell them you found it in the room, and you think that a previous owner of the room left it in there. Try to act casual about it. If you can\'t, then let me speak for you.>

Calming himself down a bit, Evin carefully put the two others where they were and then picked up the 1st with the most natural confused sound he could manage.

He then walked out of his new room, called for a servant, which happened to be an old man of some sorts, and showed him the paper.

"Sorry, sir. I found this in my room. I think the previous tenant left it behind," Evin said, barely keeping his voice from cracking.

The old man looked at the piece of paper with some curiosity, before his expression turned into shock. He seemed to mouth an \'Oh, shit…\' before doing his best to wipe off the shock off his face. Turning to Evin, he accepted the paper with respect and professionalism.

"Alright, I\'ll see that this falls into the proper hands," the old man said in his most casual tone, before adding on sheepishly, "Don\'t worry about it, young mage!"

The servant\'s comical actions loosened Evin\'s tense mind a bit, as he walked back into his room with a thanks.

<If you want to speak with me, you can pile a blanket around the piece of paper under the bed and speak to me in whispers. Since they put these things in relatively open spaces, it means that they can\'t listen through objects. If it wasn\'t so, I refuse to believe that a proper Earth Mage wouldn\'t just put the damn thing inside the walls and get things over with.>

Evin nodded, tucked a bunch of blankets around the bed, and went to the other corner of the room.

"What the hell is happening? You said something about seeing someone put something similar in Leanne\'s house?" he whispered.

<They did. Or at least one person did. I saw them sneak into your room through the window and leave something similar under the bed.>

"Why is this happening? I don\'t understand why I\'d garner so much attention on me..."

<I can\'t say for sure, but the only guess I can make is that they\'re doing all this because of the Imagination Casting I performed during the Awakening thing.>

"What do you mean?" Evin asked.

<Remember how Leanne said that Imagination Casting classes are only for nobility? What that likely means is that it\'s not allowed for anyone other than nobility to do the same things,> the voice said, and trailed off a bit, <Ah, now I can kind of see why they\'d be this gung-ho about some random 2nd grade being able to Imagination Cast…>

"What are you talking about?"

<Alright, I\'m in a good mood lately so I don\'t mind explaining things to you. You\'ll do well to know about it, as well,> the voice said gleefully, <For someone to cast spells using their imagination, they would need to possess a rather advanced set of knowledges. Pretty sure the noble\'s children learn those things from a young age, but that kind of education is simply impossible for a random blacksmith\'s son to possess.>

"Does that mean it\'s illegal for me to cast magic like that?"

<No-no. It just means you know things that you\'re not allowed to know.>

"But I don\'t even know these things that I\'m not allowed to know," Evin suddenly thought it unfair, "You still haven\'t taught me how to cast magic like you promised."

<First, I promised you to teach magic if you ditched your father\'s ass behind by your own will. Did that happen? I don\'t think so,> the voice seemed to sneer.

Evin was about to complain, but the voice continued.

<But... I suppose you\'re free from his influence in the end, so I guess it\'s okay. Alright, I\'ll teach you how to cast a ball of fire.>

Evin stopped his complaints from leaking out and expectantly waited for the voice to continue.

<It\'s very easy,> the voice laughed, <Whenever you want to create a ball of fire, whisper \'Fireball\' and I\'ll create a ball of fire in front of you. As a bonus, I\'ll even aim it at an enemy if you\'re in a fight or something.>

Evin sat in the corner silently… trying to process what the voice just said to him.

"What?"

<What do you mean what? It\'s super easy, isn\'t it? Just whisper a word, and I\'ll do my best to follow your command. You should find it an honor, by the way. I don\'t really let anyone order me around.>

"But you told me you\'d teach me how to do it by myself!" Evin hissed.

<I told you I\'d teach you how to cast magic. I never said anything about teaching you how to do Imagination Casting independently.>

"You lying piece of shit!"

<I just explained to you why I didn\'t lie, you fucking mongrel. If you don\'t like it, you can go beat your past self for being such an idiot.>

Evin wanted to curse and rage at the voice, but knowing that there were people listening to him, he controlled his anger. Taking deep breaths, Evin went silent, thinking how he could get back at the voice for this.

\'Since he likes being such a smartass, I\'ll do the same to him,\' he thought.

"If you don\'t teach me about it, then I\'ll talk to Leanne about your existence. I\'m sure she\'ll be able to get rid of you one way or another."

<He-he, you can try it out. I\'m sure that will go according to whatever plan that you have in your head.>

"Stop bluffing. I know you\'re scared shitless of getting found out. If not, why would you ask me to be whispering in the corner here."

Now that Evin thought about it himself, why was he sitting so far away from the recording rune or whatever it was called, trying so hard to keep the voice\'s existence under wraps. Wasn\'t it his goal to get rid of the voice once and for all?

<Well, if you really want to expose me, then you can do so. There\'s not much I can do about it either,> the voice said with a calm sigh. <But do remember to think carefully about the outcomes.>

Evin scoffed at its threatening comment.

"I\'m a mage now. I can seek help from the mages. I\'m sure they have a method to get rid of you once and for all. In fact, I\'m positive that there\'s at least one mage with the ability to deal with you among the thousands in their league."

<Unfortunately for you, life doesn\'t work like that. If you suddenly reveal a talking voice in your head who can cast magic for you, the chances of you being thrown into a mental asylum are much higher than the chances of someone actually helping you out. Maybe if you\'re especially unlucky, they\'ll treat you as a free guinea pig to test out their fancy magic.

<Oh yeah, remember that time your father brought you to that doctor who claimed he could rid your head of the voices inside? Remember that?> the voice\'s tone took on an awfully gleeful mood.

It really loved this story. And as much as Evin hated thinking about it, a memory of a certain incident started emerging in his head. A man holding a needle and a hammer, swinging them around dangerously close to Evin\'s head.

<He wrote down the list of symptoms on a nice little paper, took a good look at it for a few seconds, before taking another good look at you. Then, in all seriousness, he offered to drill a hole in your head... to let the voices slip out. No-no-no, wait. He didn\'t even say he was gonna fucking drill your head,> the voice started cackling elatedly.

<He... He put a... what\'s it called, a needle next to your... fucking head... and offered to... gently... yes, gently... peck the needle through your skull... with his trusty lil\' hammer,> the voice started to wheeze uncontrollably at this point.

Evin listened to the voice giggling by itself for a minute straight, seething with annoyance. Finally, he heard a sigh of pure satisfaction and delight from the voice. One that people tended to do after a nice, hearty laugh.

<Holy fuck, I love this story... Thank god the man was as greedy as he was insane. I\'m sure if his price was a bit cheaper, then you really might\'ve had a hole next to your head,> the voice finished.

"Fine, I get it. But mages are different!" Evin replied stubbornly.

<Ugh, whatever, Evin. You can go take a walk around the Four Nations for all I care. I\'m sure you\'ll find a mage capable of getting rid of me eventually,> the voice said annoyedly, before its tone turned animated once again, <Actually... you don\'t even have to search so far to meet such a mage. You can just go to the Black Tower and ask the Empress to fix you up. See how that works out for you.>

Evin wanted to reply but found himself stuck on the thought.

\'Would the Empress be willing to help me out?\'


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